Oh boy. Such fun.

I'm so stupid for deciding to stay out at my dad's for Spring Break. I'm happy because I get to spend so much time with all of my best friends, but it's so hard. My dad just won't for one moment let me live my life without the worry of what his future is going to be like.

This really sucks. I cannot stand it. It's like constantly living your life, but then handling the burdens of a whole other person. My dad lets me know about how he is going to go to jail if he sticks around. How my mom probably let out a warrent for his arrest. How he is going to leave and go to the east coast. How I'm not going to see him for a long time. How I'm going to be without an earthly father. It's so hard to handle. I'm so use to being told by him that he is going to pack up and leave. I've heard this four times already for quite some time. I'm scared because I don't know when the moment will come when he will actually be gone; when my dad will not be here for me or when I won't be there for him. He is an acoholic too, so it's not like I can actually tell when he is being completely honest. He is a very emotional drunk too. He was sitting infront of me today, sobbing. He was telling me how he is so upset because he doesn't think he will see my sisters and I for a long time.

I'm angry with my mom right now too. I need to talk to her. She is the one who is causing all of this trouble with my dad. He cannot afford paying child support and no matter what my mom keeps on drilling at him, but there is nothing for him to give. My mom is trying to shake the coins from a piggy bank that is already empty. What a capitalist! Haha. I promised my dad that I wouldn't call my mom and find out if she really did allow for the arrest warrent thingy to be sent out. If she did, I can't help it...I'm going to be very upset with her. My dad is going to be leaving thanks to her. I don't want to call her now though.

I just want to be in the future right now. I'm not ready to be a parent, but I'm being one still. Ahh! Why can't my parents just grow up!?!?! I just can't wait when I will grow up and be far away from dealing with my parents and all of their problems. Then, I only get to be worried about what is going on in my own household and not anyone else. I'm suppose to be enjoying my teenage years as a teenager, but instead I'm a teenager being an adult.