I love silly-ness!

Today in French, I wrote this on the chalkboard: Mon pere est aussi stupid qu'un chien. For those of you who don't know francais!, it translates to: my dad is as stupid as a dog. My teacher, Mrs. Knitter, was like,"Michelle! Isn't that a little harsh!?!" I was laughing so hard. I told her, "No, not at all!"

Well, I would say more, but I have to go. Tell me why you put up with me........

Genious.. I mean genius!! right!?

Note to all of those who wear contacts: If you are brushing your teeth and then you brush your retainer and get toothpaste all over your hands, I suggest that you don't take your contacts out next. Trust me, I learned the hard way. If you take out your contacts after touching toothpaste, it tends to burn your eyes.

I've been thinking.... what if I never ever laughed. That would be sad. It just wouldn't be Michelle. Imagine what kind of person I would be. Ugh, that'd be awful. lol. I'm so lucky that I'm me. Haha. If I didn't have my laugh, what else would there be? Hmmm...

If

If you could, would you?

Amused Part 3

I know, you might be getting sick of these US History AP stories.. but I have another one.

So, this is a continued one from Amused part 2. Haha. I got into my class and immediately, my teacher, Mr. G, says, "Michelle! I know what you were laughing at yesterday!" I had no clue at all what he was talking about! So, I told him, "I have no idea what you're talking about!!!! I was laughing at Dan laughing silently!" And then he said to me, "Don't lie to me! I know what you were laughing at!" I seriously had no idea at all!!! And he said, "Michelle! I had different colored socks on yesterday and that's what you were laughing at." I didn't have a clue and I ended up laughing obnoxiously again. He said he realized when he got home and changed into different clothes, and when he realized he had different colored socks on, he assumed that that was what I was laughing at. What a funny story! Right!?!

Funny story number two: my dad is a liar! So, yesterday after Oasis and lots of marshmellows.... my mom, sister, and I drove past my dad's house and the tv was on. When we turned around to see again.. he turned off the tv. What a dork. He lied to his own family. My dad doesn't even want to see his own daughters I guess anymore. We're too expensive. What a poop. He didn't leave the state I guess... he thought that he'd pretend to so he wouldn't have to spend the gas money to come and get us.

I'm sorry I've been writing such long blogs. I hope you all enjoy reading them!

Amused part 2

Once again, it happened in US History. I laughed. It was funnier today.

So, we were doing a seminar, or discussion, on mobs during the American Revolution and this guy I know Dan saw that I was just sitting there smiling. He started to laugh silently at me because if he laughed loud he would distract my teacher, Mr. G and the student he was questioning. So, me seeing Dan laughing silently makes me want to laugh too. So... I didn't know what to do.. because I was definitely about to start laughing really loud... and so I covered my mouth and it was really hard. I was hoping my teacher wouldn't see me, but before I know it, he tells the student he's talking to to hold on a sec, and he looks over and me and is like, "Michelle! What is so funny!?" He was doing it jokingly though. And I said I didn't know. Then he said, "Good, cause the whole time you were laughing I thought my fly was unzippered or something, but I realized my tie was covering it." Everyone was staring at me again.. and I laughed.. again.. obnoxiously. I told Mr. G that I was laughing because Dan was laughing. I don't get introuble when I laugh in his class because I can't help it. I bring some laughter into that class!

Amused

Thanks guys for praying for me ... and youth group, I love you all! I'm so glad I'm worth the gas money. Haha.

Recently this week, my US History AP class has gotten to know me very well. On Monday, my teacher Mr. G told me that I'm milk and toast. I had never heard that expression before and he said that milk toast is such as when you think you're such a bad a** just for ringing a door bell and running away. I started laughing so hard when he said that because it's so true. Like, when a few of us girls went and wrote on peoples cars from youth group with washable paint... I thought that was so bad. Haha.

So, today in Mr. G's class.. I went to go turn in my test. And I asked Mr. G where everything went, and as I was putting it all down I was smiling and kinda smiling and laughing at myself for not knowing were everything goes. And Mr. G said very loud, "Michelle, you find everything so amusing." And I walked back to my seat laughing really loud and obnoxiously. Everyone was staring at me, which made me laugh more. When I sat down, Mr. G was laughing at me and he was like, "look at this girl, she thinks everything is so amusing." Then he was like, "Watch. Michelle, this is a stack of papers." Then he was like, "Michelle, see this, it's a pen." I could not stop laughing. It was so funny. That's so true too. I always find everything so amusing or laughable. Like, when people say random things like peanut butter or even the time I was in a van and there was a digital gas thingy, and speed limit thingy... and I had never seen one of those before and I started to laugh. I think I'm too amused sometimes. But that's a good thing. Right!? lol

Gone

So much happened this weekend.

Friday I left to go to my dad's house and so he picked us up. I asked him for money. He freaked out and started yelling and cursing at me. It was really hard to not say anything back. We got into a big argument about just everything that has been going on with my mom, grandparents not talking to him, his own brother talking to my mom, him not having any money or job, and I could just go on forever about what we talked about in 10 minutes. We got on the express way, and I told my dad something, and he started to yell at me. He was like, "GET OFF THE NEXT EXIT NOW!" and he kept on repeating himself. I was going 60 mph or something. He starts grabing the wheel and trying to pull to the side of the road. I was hoping that at that moment God would give me enough strength to keep my grip on the wheel. Unfortunately, I couldn't hold it any longer, and he grabbed the wheel, and I didn't know what to do, so I start slamming on the breaks and screaming. It was scarey. We were on the shoulder and he took the keys and walked around and pushed me over to the passenger side. He was taking us home to EP. He was yelling and swearing at us the whole ride. I had to tell Cheryl to stop screaming at him because every time he screamed at her, he would point his finger at me and every time he did that I thought he was going to hit me. It was so scarey. All through it, I didn't cry, I couldn't because he would call me a baby and tell me not to cry because he doesn't care. He got really angry again, so, he stopped at a gas station and left us there. We called up our mom to pick us up, and she nicely brought us to Park Forest. My dad came to the gas station for the second time and was swearing and told us to get in the car. We didn't, and he drove off really angry.

So, he called me up over the weekend. He's leaving. He's leaving the state, he's not telling us where he's going. He's just leaving. One thing that's really going to affect me is he's my ride to church, my ride to my friends, my ride to what helps me when I'm not doing so great in Evergreen Park. This is going to be a really hard year.

I really need all of you to help me out. Pray for me.

Slow, silly mind!!!

Not that long ago, I was looking in the mirror and I was seeing how my eyes looked like a brighter green, and I thought, "My ears are looking greener." I actually thought the wrong thing!?! I'm such a weirdo. And then I corrected myself in my head and I was like, "My eyes are looking greener." lol.. I laughed in my head forever! I'm such a silly goose!

I keep on getting invited to go to homecoming stuff for next week at my school. I don't want to go, because I don't have any people that would want to spend time with me.. I think. I think that if I maybe went, I might get ignored a little or something. I told them that I'd have no one to go with, and they told me to go with them, but it's hard for me to tell them that I'm worried I'll get left out. So, that's why I just don't go at all. I'm scared that I might look back and wonder why I didn't get more into high school.. I mean, it's my only time of ever being a high schooler.

Oh yeah, and my ___ + a straw and white powder = they're a crack head. I don't know what to do.... ?

Update

Update on me... still feeling the same pretty much. Stuff doesn't seem to be getting any better, just worse. I can't really explain it. I've just got so much bottled up, and I'm not talking... only to God.

On a funny note, today I was looking at my knee.... don't ask me why because I was just looking at my knee,.. haha.. and so anywho, I thought that I had sores or something on my knee, but then I realized that it was camp grow rustic red paint. It was so gross when I was painting, because the paint started to crust on my leg... it was nasty lol. I liked looking ridiculous though with all of the paint all over me.

Note to everyone: sorry to be a jerk, but please don't tell me any problems right now because I'm having too much trouble trying to figure out my problems.

Worst mood,.. ever!

Wow! Isn't this a surprise... Michelle is in a bad mood. I'm sorry.. I'm so exhausted from driving, from painting(myself, not the mess hall.. lol.. with rustic red!!!), I'm all sore from the painting, I have a head ache, I'm not going to do school work since I'm so tired, I'm missing camp already and everyone I got to see today, I'm not feeling so great overall with me, I don't feel like I've been a great friend to everyone, I've been so blah forever (sorry), and I'm just emotionally drained. I hate emotions. If I hate anything a lot, it's definitely emotions! I know one of the reasons God made emotions is because then we can worship him with all of our emotions and what not. But I don't like emotions. They mess you up BIG time. God also gave girls a lot of emotions.. way more than guys... haha.. you're lucky! I feel like I've just been doing everything wrong. I'm so frustrated with everything. I try to do things right, I try to make people happy, and I end up messing everything up.. I always do stuff the wrong way I guess. Sometimes, I don't think people realize how hard I try to just make them happy or show that I appreciate them. Ugh!!! Just ugh!!! Or sometimes people don't know how I pour my emotions into it. I don't like emotions!!!!! They are sooo stupid!!! People don't realize how easy their lives are such as with family stuff and friends. I live so far away from my friends!!! My parents are not that great.. and when they want to yell, they'll yell at me like I'm the other parent. It's so hard for me to get to church. Sorry guys, but I'm not going to be able to get to youth group stuff really anymore. My dad said he's not getting me anymore. I know it's not a good attitude for me to say that, but gas is crazy and sometimes it's hard to go out since I get so much homework. You'll have to move on and find another Michelle. Everything is just plain out difficult. It seems everything the past year or so or whatever, everything I do or have happen gets messed up. I need to just go...............

What!? Michelle was laughing!?

So, today, something funny happened. I was at school... and I knew it was eventually going to happen, but today it did. And my friend Alicia was trying to sing. It was so funny! She was singing, "Na na na na na..." and she was singing it all high pitched in a silly voice... and I started to laugh so hard. I was like crying. The teacher, Mrs. Knitter, she was over teaching the french 3's class. We have a combined class with 8 people in french 3 and 5 people, including me, in french 4. So, the teacher switches off teaching, but anyways back to the point. I was laughing and Mrs. Knitter snapped on Alicia and I and started yelling at us for laughing and she didn't see what was so funny. So, I started to laugh harder... it was so awful, but funny. I had to put my head down into my book and cover my mouth to keep me from laughing more. I'm so bad and i felt bad. I knew that I'd eventually get introuble for laughing and not being able to contain myself.... HAHAHA..hahaha... What's going to happen when a teacher tells me I'll get a detention if I don't stop laughing!? I'll end up getting expelled. lol.. hehe...

Good, good, and great!

I swear, I don't know what's up with me, but the last four days, I've been going bible crazy! lol... I've read the book Matthew, Mark, and Luke in only four days!!! Isn't that crazy. Someone told me a few days ago that I'm a maniac! I was like, "Yes! Maniac for Jesus!!!woohoo" lol! I'm so excited for tomorrow! I get to leave for camp and I can't hardly wait! Camp grow is my second home. Heaven is obviously my first.. duh. lol! I can't wait to be able to see all of the stars clearly! It's been a month since I've been able to do that! Everyone! Pray for safe traveling.. in my dad's car haha.. yes, I'm taking my dad's car... and pray for other stuff... ya know!? haha... and let's see.. it would be nice if you could all pray for gas prices to drop lol... because then I don't have to put in 3o bucks for gas.. It's going to be ridiculous! Just to let you all know... Jesus rocks!!! and I found what comforts me the most... Jesus.. lol.. expecially since that last post.. I've been doing great! Thanks everyone for your prayers and whatnot!

Sanctus Real: You Can't Hide

When you're feeling all alone and you've got no friends on the phone When you've reached your all time low, He'll be around In your car, in the starts, He's everywhere you are He's alive and He'll always find you When your down He's around and He knows... Of all the places you can go, you will never be alone Of all the places you could find, there is nowhere you can hide When you think you've escaped He's right beside you When you sleep, when you wake, in the midst of your heartbreaks He is there, and he knows Make no mistake, He'll be around Make no mistake, He'll be around

What to say!?

I don't know what to say.

I'm just so wrapped up in everything.. and I just want to untangle from it all. lol

Ha.. I was thinking of something funny. It's kind of like I was wrapped up in everything, so I gave it to God and he untangled me and I was spinning from all of the untangling and then i fell over, and now I'm getting back up. I think that's a good way to put it of how I've been doing. lol

Michelle is just crazy!

I'm sorry about the last post everyone. I just wanted to vent and thought I'd do it on my blog. Sorry!

Michelle's feelings

I'm sorry, but I'm just sick of everyone and everything. Everyone, I'm sorry. It's just every where I turn.. a lie comes out. God is definitely there, and He's definitely trustworthy and just everything I need. I'm not finding any comfort anywhere. Everything, well, it just seems gone. Everything is just very blah. I'm sick of boys, i'm sick of girls, i'm sick of my family, i'm sick of just everything. I'm sorry I feel this way everyone.. don't get upset with me.. it's just my feelings.. lol.. duh comment. My family is NOT helping at all. My dad is saying how he's going to leave us and it's just hurtful to hear him talking bad about my mother and I can't talk back.. I have to listen to him say these awful words about her. My mom doesn't help either, she tells me everything that's going to happen with court and it's so annoying. I know it'll be nice going to camp this coming weekend, but maybe I should just back out and not go, like the last time. If I go, I'm going to not want to leave and it'll make going home so much harder. Good thing for Sarah, Mandy, their mom, and Cheryl is more room for them in the car.

I'm sorry everyone, I'm just angry at everything.

..... love is not just a feeling...... love is an action.

To Many Different People

Thanks.

Thanks for being my best friend,
Thanks for showing me you care,
Thanks for liking me,
Thanks for encouraging me,
Thanks for making me feel special,
Thanks for telling me I'm awesome and beautiful,
Thanks for making me confident,
Thanks for listening,
Thanks for giving me a shoulder to cry on,
Thanks for caring,
Thanks for making me feel like somebody,
Thanks for inspiring me,
Thanks for enjoying my presence,
Thanks for making me happy,
Thanks for cheering me up when I was sad,
Thanks for loving me

Just Thanks!

No Thanks.

No thanks for trying to be my friend,
No thanks for hurting me,
No thanks for trying to make things better,
No thanks for telling the truth,
No thanks for making me feel like I'm someone,
No thanks for telling me how you feel,
No thanks for paying attention to me,
No thanks for putting the blame on me,
No thanks for showing me you care,
No thanks for loving me

Just No Thanks.